High School

I had 4 kids in 8 years. Some are closer in age than others. But while on the phone today with my sister, we realized something that my children won't experience which shocked me.

My children have/will have a completely different experience than I had during their high school years. For 3 of them, it's because they are boys. For all of them, the high schools they attend will look nothing like mine: most will be significantly bigger and one will be significantly smaller. Half of my kids will attend schools without the benefit/comfort of old elementary school friends, acquaintances and bullies. My sister and I had this experience: K-12 with the same people; one junior high and one high school in the town we grew up in. There are 6 junior highs in our town here. And 6 "typical" high schools - with alternative learning facilities to boot (continuation etc..) Each 2 year junior high school here has at least as many students if not more than our 4 year high school alma mater.

Colin is almost halfway done with high school. There are 2600 kids on his campus - with 150 more coming in next year. He attends school clear across the valley - to take advantage of a social skills program offered to kids with Asperger's Syndrome. He's in the Special Education program but in all "regular" academic classes. He straddles both worlds. Sometimes more effectively than other times. He listens to Eminem, Kanye West and Radio Disney equally. He'll watch ESPN and read Sports Illustrated and still play Yugioh. He'd prefer watching a Miley Cyrus movie to a horror film. He's also in AP classes and is trying out for football. (Well, "trying out" might not be the best way to put it: we paid the $600 fee and now he's on the team.) He was also selected to be a representative for the California State Youth Leadership Forum for Students with Disabilities to be held this summer in Sacramento - all expenses paid.
And he won't go to the same high school with any of his siblings.

Aidan is getting ready for high school next year. Junior high has been a 1200 person trial and we're holding a collective breath until it's done on June 3. No promotion ceremony for him this year: the school district cut the ceremonies out due to a California budget crisis. He's been accepted to an alternative high school offered through the school district in conjunction with the community college- also across town. He's one of 60-70 kids to be accepted out of 175 incoming freshman applicants. It's possible he won't know a single student on his first day of school - or more likely that he'll only know a few. He won't take AP classes, but his college level courses will be *college* classes on the community college campus. He'll be exposed to the students and professors of the college, in addition to the students and teachers of his high school academy- located in a building on the edge of the college campus. He'll also be exposed to everything at the college - including but not limited to access to the college health center (and free condom handouts...) at age 14. He won't be able to play in high school sports - they aren't allowed at his school due to CIF eligibility regulations. But he can take anything for PE from the course catalog including Jujitsu and Hip Hop.
And he won't go to the same high school with any of his siblings.

Julia has an October birthday. She started Kindergarten when she was 4 years old: a decision we made, in part, due to her older brother's age. We wanted her to be in high school with her older brother. My oldest friend had a brother 2 years older than us, and I was always envious of the ease she seemed to have interacting with boys - and frankly, that she got asked to dances as a freshman because of it. I figured that having an older brother (and his friends) would be a certain bonus to Julia as a freshman in high school: at least someone on the campus to look out for her. (And for me to have a spy in her looking out for *him*) As it stands now, Julia will be the first of my kids to go to the local high school. And by local I mean: Right. Across. The. Street.
And she won't go to the same high school with any of her siblings.

Edwin's in first grade. He has an October birthday too. We made the decision to hold him back from starting Kindergarten - and waited until he was 5 (almost 6) to start school. He'll start high school in the fall after Julia graduates. He may go to the local high school too.
And he won't go to the same high school with any of his siblings.

High school was a time in my life that I would actually do over. I loved it. It was a great experience. Partly because of when and where I grew up. Partly because I had a group of friends whom I gathered over my school years, but always having familiar faces since kindergarten in the halls (for 13 years, I saw Jon Keller every day in at least one class.) But largely because I had a sibling to share it with. We went to school with each other and we have a shared history of familiar schools, friends, and teachers. My kids won't have that. They'll have excellent opportunities. Different experiences. Unique options.

But they won't go to high school with each other.
And it makes me sad.