The morning exchange

The morning exchange:

"Everyone get up, right now!" as I walk in the door, home from boot camp.
Colin comes out to the kitchen rumpled but dressed.
"Colin, make your lunch."
I start the pot of necessary coffee.
"Aidan, get up!"
Aidan comes into the kitchen
"Aidan, make your lunch."
Julia comes out. She gets sent back to her room.
"Julia, you have Girl Scouts today - put your bathing suit on under your clothes and wear something old that can get wet. I'll give you your $3 dues in the car. And you can buy your lunch today."She replies cheerfully that it's cookie day at school lunch.
"Edwin, get up!"
Edwin walks out and down the hall dressed(!)
"Edwin, did you go to the bathroom?"

"Ba dum bum," he replies (as if we're in a bad comedy club and I've just cracked a joke) "No. I have not," as he runs down the hall to the bathroom.

Coffee is now ready, and I pour myself the first of the cups needed to make it through the morning.
Aidan and Colin fight over which cookie is theirs - one is broken and therefore inferior. Aidan tries to justify a lunch bag full of junk and one tiny mini-bagel sandwich for the healthy factor. ("But I'll put a lot of meat in it! he claims)
"No deal," I say.
"But I can't find the bread," he says. I make sweeping hand gestures.
The bread is on the counter in front of him, and is also on 3 of the four shelves in the fridge he has just opened(grocery shopping happened yesterday.)
Aidan makes a sandwich.

Julia comes out with the carefully planned outfit for her Girl Scout meeting after school which will include earning a swimming badge and will involve jumping in the water fully clothed.

Colin goes outside to retrieve the newspaper.

"Everyone eat!"
Eating commences, not quietly.
"Did you hear that the Stanford football coach's wife was in labor during the Stanford/ Notre Dame game?" Colin muses.
"I know someone who went to Stanford. Mae Jemison," Julia pipes in.
"The astronaut?" Aidan replies.

Julia eats half of her breakfast sandwich ("But I'm full!") before escaping to the bathroom to do her hair.
"Ed, finish Julia's breakfast."

Knock Knock on the kitchen door.
Diego, Devin and Drew walk in, ready for school.
Diego proudly displays his USC shirt to me - one of dozens he owns and likes to torture all of us with.
"Do you all have lunches today?"
"Yes," they all reply.
Drew shows off his newly applied braces while simultaneously asking if we are fans of Green Bay.
"My mom can't pick us up today," Diego announces.
"Does anyone have homework club today?" I ask.
"Yes" and "No" answers are given at the same time. Much discussion ensues about whether homework club is, in fact, meeting today. Collectively, we figure out that it's not, so Devin goes to call his mom to find out if she can drive home.

Ed finishes spiking his hair - gelling it up for the most dramatic effect.

"Aidan, leave your cell phone at home. You are grounded from using it for 24 hours."

"Everyone! Get. In. the. Car. Now!"
And off we go, at 7:15, to the various schools and drop off points.
Me and SEVEN kids.